It goes without saying, that the passing of Adam Yauch, aka MCA of the Beastie Boys, was a shock to the system of anyone who enjoyed his music, art, or presence. I’m guessing what I write may not be entirely singular to me, but his influence on me as a music fan, an artist, and as a person,  hit me so unexpectedly hard, that I have no choice but to try and reconcile what has happened through writing about it.

It feels like I’ve lost a friend and yet I never met him, and he certainly never knew me. But enjoying his art through the years, starting when I was just 11 years old, I feel like I’ve grown up with him and shared real experiences and private jokes. I’ve read and watched so many interviews, repeated viewing music videos and seen so many tv appearances over the years, that when his passing came, it carried real weight. It’s not just the music, I think about how his sense of humor has influenced mine. All the jokey lyrics surrounding food and ridiculous braggadocio fell right in line with my sense of humor. Listening to those songs in the car made it almost feel(and still do feel) like you were driving around with a friend. The B-Boys were tastemakers in the 90s and MCA was the mastermind. His ambitions as a philanthropist were inspiring, his dedication to Buddhism eye-opening.

In storytelling, they often talk about the hero’s journey, and I feel like I’ve watched that unfold in real life as a fan of MCA and the Beastie Boys. Here are these snarky goofballs who initially toured with giant inflatable penises and women dancing in cages, your first thought might be, what a bunch of assholes.

But you’d be wrong. So many people, to this day, don’t even realize that Fight For Your Right to Party is a satire. Those guys were never those guys. They were making fun of the hair metal and frat mentality of the 80’s. But as described in numerous biographies and interviews, they temporarily fell into the spell of becoming the people they were mocking. The success combined with pressure from the record label to create a certain image briefly turned them into partying maniacs. But it wouldn’t last long. It was already on the wain in Paul’s Boutique and by Ill Communication, MCA released Bodhisattva Vow, and rapped on Sure Shot about how overdue the respect and civil treatment of women was, offering “my love and respect to the end” in essence taking responsibility for his former insensitive actions. I was watching the character arc of my hero unfold before me, and I loved him for that.

As time went on I watched him broaden his horizons into film, creating a hilarious directorial alter-ego Nathaniel Hornblower. He founded Oscilloscope which now has helped countless indie films get their earned time in the spotlight.

It was great to see this guy, who I saw as this outrageous out-of-control rapper in the 80s and early nineties evolve into a well-rounded artist who I respected but still loved for his ridiculous sense of humor when it came to hip hop lyrics. And, it was that much harder to take, when I found out that he had lost his bout with cancer yesterday. Perhaps no one associated with his family will ever read this, but perhaps to anyone who has felt the weight in their heart since hearing of Adam’s passing yesterday morning, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

I want to share one last thing, probably one of my favorite images of Adam Yauch. If you haven’t already watched it, find the video for “Something’s Got to Give.” The video reflects on all the violence committed in wars and all the money spent on bombs and guns. Amidst all this, there is a scene with a very young and gangly looking MCA, who takes a sledgehammer and smashes a handgun. The glee shown in his face after rendering this object of death useless, is one that sticks with me always. To see such genuine happiness in creating a symbol of peace speaks volumes of his character.

I will miss you Adam. I didn’t know you in person, but you were indeed my friend.

RIP Adam Yauch, 1964-2012

This made me smile… :)

My good friend Andrew Groth came up with a silly invention called the Paint-O-Matic 2000, a satirical take on creating abstract art. As part of his presentation, I helped him make an infomercial which further emphasizes the message behind the machine. The script was written by Andrew Groth and Jason Greenberg. I was the director and editor. Kind of a fun thing to do to keep my mind off my current lack of real gigs.

Do clothes make the man? What about the shoes? I’m at an impasse right now with my personal fashion. There’s a line from the movie Wedding Crashers that comes to mind…when Owen Wilson’s character says, “I’m young” and Rachel McAdams’ character replies, “Well, you’re not that young.”

Being a film and video editor, I work in an industry that embraces youth. However, as someone who is slowly creeping towards my fourth decade, I am beginning to feel like I’m treading dangerous water in terms of fashion. I’ve always prided myself on feeling young and having the professional privilege of not having to wear a suit and tie to work. But what DO I wear anymore? I’m reaching the point where jeans and a t-shirt with a button up draped over, is not necessarily ME anymore. At the same time, I refuse to go the route of my similarly aged friends who are a walking advertisement for Banana Republic. And I’m definitely not going to don the hipster uniform of brightly colored denim with an ironic t-shirt, secondhand blazer, plaid hat…and a goddamn fucking beard.

So what the hell is an aging skateboarder/music geek who edits as his profession to do? It’s becoming all too confusing. I’m really starting to wonder if the problem is my body. I can empathize with girls a lot these days. I literally can’t fit into any piece of clothing that Abercrombie, Guess, Express for Men, or American Eagle has to offer…not that I would ever shop in any of those stores anyway…I’m just sayin’. Men’s fashion these days caters towards the emaciated effeminate man who hasn’t worked out a day in their life…unless of course your idea of fashion is the super douchy Affliction’s or Ed Hardy’s of the world. That being said, I’m not going to surrender into the uber safe world of Eddie Bauer or what I like to call “Dadwear.”

I managed to have an epiphany in the least likely of places recently…Cherry fucking Creek Mall. It was there that I realized what part of my dilemma boils down to.

Money.

Not that it’s always the case in finding good clothes, but perhaps just in my case this time. I visited a few major department stores, some of which I had never given the chance based on price. Suddenly I started noticing some styles that appealed to me. Style that seemed a little more my speed. Not skate rat, but not a Gap commercial either. Edgy enough but not so much that I looked douchy or desperate. I realized that part of the problem is that I’m a fucking cheapskate when it comes to clothes. I buy my jeans at Target…there I said it. The first step is admitting it right? I buy my shirts at Kohls…which isn’t bad ALL the time, but occasionally you have to pay a little more to find something that is exceptional. Huh…go figure.

Now I just need more editing gigs…

-B-

It has probably always been this way, that one generation always gets angry or annoyed by the succeeding generation, but what is it that makes this happen? From my limited perception of this phenomena, it’s technology. As each new generation comes into it’s own, they without fail, disregard the groundwork done that created the conveniences they take for granted every day.

As I approach that ugly region of my life sometimes called middle age, I find myself slowly becoming guilty of the opposite side of the coin. When I was a teenager, I never bothered to help my dad finish our basement, never learned how to do plumbing, electrical, put in drywall, fix a car or anything else that required being able to identify power tools on a shelf. I knew my dad had a wealth of information he could have bestowed onto me, but I always just figured there were hired professionals to do those things. To a degree I still do, despite some regret in failing to learn more of the basics.

My dad must have thought I was a worthless idiot some days.

Kind of like the way I see a lot of teenagers now.

The technology that separates me and those born while I was graduating high school (waaay back in the 1990’s!!!) is the internet. At the risk of sounding like grandpa putting in his dentures to begin a sentence with, “When I was your age”, I grew up without this wondrous tool that allows us to look up, buy, rent, hire, watch, see, learn, literally anything we could ever want. I had to go to a library to read actual, physical, BOOKS to write reports. I had to learn the Dewey decimal system. I had to wait for other people to get done using the card catalogs(with eyes rolling in impatient disgust I might add) so I could look up articles and books. If I wanted to get the newest Green Day album I had to go to an actual record store. If I wanted to watch a movie I had to skateboard my gangly ass down to the neighborhood video rental store.

I suppose what annoys me about teens now is the same thing that annoyed my parents when I was in my teens. They seem completely unable to do anything and have no interest in learning to do so.

I was the same way though. I didn’t want to try and save 30 bucks by changing my own oil. I’d rather just borrow yet more money from my dad…cause I was a dick.

Being someone in his mid-30’s, I hear countless stories on Facebook from my high school friends whose kids complain they can’t finish their book report because the internet is down. Hello? Library? I imagine their response might be, “Are you crazy? That’s that place where the homeless go to watch old movies and poop!”

Even if they did make the effort to go the library, do you think they’d know how to find the book or article they were looking for? Or would they even bother to do so? They’d probably just look up the information on Wikipedia since the library is voluntarily making itself extinct by offering the internet to its denizens.

As unbelievably annoying as it is to watch these young worthless individuals complain about a lack of wifi or that they can’t get all their music for fucking free, it’s not what scares me about the difference between my generation and theirs. It’s the social aspect. 

These days you don’t have to leave your house for anything. You can have anything delivered to your door via the internet. Books, clothes, food, you name it, it’s available.

Except one thing… true social interaction.

Chat rooms, Facebook, Twitter, and as much as I like it…Tumblr. It’s all bullshit. Yes it helps connect people, yes it helps maintain contact, but in a lot of ways it takes away all the responsibility. I’m not saying that social networking and what-have-you doesn’t serve a purpose. It’s a great tool and provides great ways to help us feel connected in some way. 

But it does not replace the real thing. And it won’t ever.

In a world where overprotective parents don’t let their kids play outside and television is the predominant babysitter, the future of the country is losing the very thing that makes us human…actual human interaction.

There is plenty I love about what the internet has provided, but I will miss it when all the music stores have disappeared and you can’t have a talk with the guy working the counter about how Vampire Weekend completely rips off Paul Simon and how you can’t understand how they get away with it. I will miss the community feel of a local bookstore.  And yes the libraries. At least in libraries, I know that the encyclopedias have been fact-checked to some degree, provided they weren’t published in states where they teach intelligent-design as an alternative.

I can’t tell whether we are headed to a world where no one understands that you can’t act like the assholes on Jersey Shore in real life, or whether we’ll become so isolated that the Wall-E world is realized and we’re all hypnotized by screens being displayed three inches from our face. Either way, it’s the art and joy of human interaction that I will fight to keep and force people to use, despite the new generation’s lack of gratitude for.

Now get off my lawn.

-B-

In response to a recent “demotivational” poster regarding producers, I took it upon myself to do one for editors.

It’s about time Jack White released solo material. Looking forward to April…

Soooo….

Looking after my dog today, as he had surgery on Wednesday to have his tail removed. After seeing the x-ray I’m very glad we had it done. The doctor told us it’s a miracle he wasn’t in agony every waking moment prior to having the tail removed. Well actually, that’s exactly why we brought him in sir. Poor little buddy. He seems to be recovering well though, so that makes me happy. :)

Anyway, it being a new year and all, I always get to thinking about how last year was and how I want this year to be and all that. It’s funny, for a year in which I got married, and then had a honeymoon in the greatest place on Earth(Moorea in French Polynesia), 2011 sure was a pain in the ass overall. In a year that I was trying to make as much money as possible I made less, had more anxiety, and really just got in “acceptable” shape for the wedding…whatever that is.

But enough complaining, it’s a new year right?!!  Get in shape, lose weight, fitter, happier, more productive…whaaaaatever. Nonetheless it has to start somewhere. There really is something to getting the ball rolling and self-starting. So I threw myself into a coed soccer league, joined the Y downtown, and managed to get a gig with a brand new client, Mrs. K,  starting next Monday…not bad at all I suppose.

I read a blog of someone I went to high school with recently where he talked about people being deluded about their age. He said it was foolish to believe in the idea of “40 is the new 30” and similar adages. While I agreed that we should accept the age we’re at, I wholeheartedly disagreed with negating the adages and the idea of “feeling” a different age. We think and feel in language often, and those thoughts and feelings turn into energy that can have real physical manifestations. Yeah, I’m 37 and I’m going to harness whatever wisdom I’ve managed to accumulate and use it to my advantage, but I’m also open to creative new thoughts, music, inspiration, technology or whatever else comes in the forefront. I won’t be settling down in the traditional sense and I won’t be stuck listening to the same Nine Inch Nails album I listened to in high school. There is no definition or guidelines hanging over my age. I’m three years away from 40, have a mohawk, edit television and film for a living, listen to the Beastie Boys and the Naked and Famous in the same mix, and won’t ever be having kids. It’s the same life I would lead at 27 had I worked on my career earlier. It’s probably why whenever I encounter the large majority of people I knew from high school, they all seem so old.

I kind of like that. :)

-B-